You are enough. This is a guide to navigate knowing that.

In case you need to be reminded of how mighty you are.

I crave a slow life. I'm the girl in the back of the group on a hike who is going slow not because I am out of shape, but because every bug, tree, flower and vista captivates me. When I was in Alaska, life felt slower because I was living outside every single moment, forced to look around and breathe. Things happened day by day with a simplicity of not having the outside world too involved. Post Alaska, I felt I was thrown into a world where people demanded a lot from me and expected me to live up to their expectations and ideals and it was TOO MUCH. I now find myself fed up about what people think I "should" be like and tell me what they think I "should" be feeling. 

Hello, I'm a recovering people-pleaser, and lately, I've fallen in love with the quiet power of "no." After listening to what feels like a decade of what people expect of me without them validating my feelings, I find my inner critic relaying the information, You're not doing enough for them. Maybe they're right—your feelings stem from this flaw or that trigger. Your truth can't possibly be valid. So I start to take on their version of reality because I want to please them.

I remember very vividly this moment where I was trying to explain my feelings of burnout to my boss at the time. I was met with, "you have to push through it", "I think you're this specific way because of xyz", "sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do", "my friend is just like this and they tried xyz, so you should too." No space to breathe. No curiosity about my world. No offer to unpack it together and adjust. Just their assumptions, their certainty that they knew better, and an unspoken insistence that the problem could never be them. It made my bones ache. I kept performing the role they scripted, ignoring the misalignment in my soul, because stopping meant drowning in the guilt of not meeting their expectations.

As the firstborn daughter, this is the legacy I inherited—wired to be the fixer, the yes, the enough. But after years of unraveling some threads in therapy, I'm learning to weave a new story: I must be enough for me first. "I am enough" hums through my morning meditations like a sacred vow. Choosing myself isn't selfish; it's essential. When I say no, I do it with kindness, trusting I'll show up more fully later—once I've refilled my own cup. And that nagging whisper—"What if they hate me for canceling?"—it's a reminder: Their reactions reveal more about their inner world than mine.

These are some things that have helped me navigate the art of remembering you are enough:

1. Embrace the No. Say it freely, say it often. Align every choice with your deepest goals—if it pulls you off course, let it go. You are enough.

2. Pause Before Pleasing. When the urge hits, ask: "Is this for them... or for me? Am I moving from guilt, obligated to spark their joy?" You're not responsible for anyone's happiness if it dims your light. (It might sting to hear, but it's true—you're allowed boundaries.)

3. Don't Mind-Read the Silence. Unless someone voices how you've hurt them, release the assumption. That phantom people-pleasing? It thrives on your imagined slights. Connection and resolution blooms from shared words, opening doors to understanding and compromise. You are enough.

4. Let Assumptions Lie. If they judge your actions or character without asking why, don't rush to defend or disprove. You don't need to audition for their approval. Live your truth unapologetically. You are enough.

   
   

I hope this helps. Remember you are not alone and healing takes time. It might be uncomfortable, but it's worth it.